I think design has a lot to do with it. I like the 4" Fascinate, and the 4.3" HTC EVO, but I don't care for the 4.3" X, because I find the overall design to be awkward.
For me it depends on the frame. I would take a 4.5 if it was all screen and maybe a 1/4 inch frame. The X feels a bit large to me, but more technical engineering to rid the excess beyond the screen could yield a comfertable one hand feel. Yes the S tech is best, but ratio is just as imperative, and a 16:9 at 4.5 SAMOLED super engineered to only have a small lip around the screen no more than a glass edge if will, would be sweet to me.
This is my first touchscreen device (Samsung Vibrant) and i think the 4" screen on this thing is the perfect size. Its light weight, rounded edges and the fact that it is very thin makes this phone very pocketable. Great device.
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Between 3.5" and 3.7" is the sweet spot for me, 4" is real nice but a little large and 3.2" is a bit uncomfortable but still usable. My iPod touch's 3.5" is perfect and the keyboard on that is very accurate and easy, the 3.1" on my Moto Quench is a bit small and the keyboard is stupidly hard to see until I installed Smart Keyboard and changed the skin to black, the Desire's 3.7" is straight up awesomeness. I carry my phones in a holster on my belt, anything 4" and bigger and it'd look like I'm packing a gun.
The Dell Streak is 5", don't you think that's a bit too large for a PHONE?
Coming from the 3.2 inch of the Storm2 (which I'm actually using right now), the 3.7" of the Incredible is a nice increase. I can imagine that I'll be comfortable with a 4" screen also.
4.3 is a lil big, I guess you can get used to it with time...
4" for me. I can't imagine using anything bigger at all. I may be able to go smaller...like 3.8"...but one of the big reasons I went to Android to begin with was for the big screen!