[crackalackberry]

PLEASE READ THIS POST FIRST BEFORE POSTING ANYTHING

First things first. This is NOT a thread meant to isult anyone or anything like that. It is just for laughs and nobody should take offense to anything said. We all know that customers are the ones that keep us employeed and we greatly appreciate their business. But we all do it, just say or do something so rediculous we just have to laugh. Those moments are for what this thread is about.

Now, It happened before and I am positive it will happen again so I will post this here. There will be trolls in here saying this is insensitive and all that. Please report any posts like these and do not reply to the posts. The mods will remove it and the thread will keep going like nothing ever happened. I will not, nor will any of the mods, tolerate any personal attacks of any kind. This is a fun thread, and anything posted that will be bringing down the happy mood of this thread will be removed as soon as possible.

That being said, here is my question to all of you. What are some things that customers have said that just make you laugh? can be things they thought to be true, just very stupid things, anything!

My latest: 3 days ago a Customer came up saying we gave him the wrong charger when he bought the phone and wanted it replaced. He handed me a Jabra charger... I look at the account.... He got his phone in 2007. 2 years later coming in saying we gave him the wrong charger and wants it replaced. Couldnt help but to laugh at him....

anyone else have any funny stories?

Please note: after reading these posts think about the reps, if you call in and think they are rude, chances are they have just had a higher number of stupid customers than normal.

[Webcrawlur]

Just saw this video, looks like it belongs here.

[crackalackberry]

hahahahahahha that is awesome

[gvillager]

A husband, wife, and their two small children come in the store. The wife's phone stopped working. There was corrosion all over the charging ports and battery contacts. I tell her that the phone is water damaged. She got really angry and starts screaming and hollering saying that her phone has never been near water. At that point I happen to glance down at her 3 yo son and he had the husbands phone in his mouth...

Edit: I thought I'd add some short quotes that I've heard from customers...

I dropped my phone and the minutes fell out.

I use this phone for my bidness (prepaid customer).

The dial tone don't work.

My phone never works (hear this all the time from customers that use hundreds of minutes a month).

I'd like to buy a battery for my cordless phone (home phone).

I never look at my bill (they tell you this after they figure out they have been paying $5/mon for the past two years for text messaging that they "never" ordered, and now they want a refund).

[Thickfreakness]

"I want the number to the corporate office!"

[gotblackberry]

"I thought I was on the unlimited text plan for $5"

"How did I go over my minutes ??"

Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com

[starlaleann]

i absolutely LOVE this thread:

"mash the splat key" also known as press the star key

"fo" also known as four

"cut it on/off" also known as power it on/off

"my phone won't work!"
"is your phone turned on currently?"
"uhmmm..."
also known as not realizing the phone has a power key to turn it on/off

"please remove the battery from your phone."
"what!? my phone don't have no battery!"

"my phone drops calls constantly"
*as I pull up bill history "really, I'm sorry about that. out of 10 calls how many do you think you normally drop"
"at LEAST 5!"
"oh ok. well your last month bill shows you dropped a total of 3 and you used over 5000 mins..."

or my personal favorite:

"I get no reception at my house! Your service is terrible! I'm canceling!"
"Has the service ever been good in your home?"
"No! Never!"
"Oh ok. Well I see you've been with us since 2004 and you just upgraded...have you recently moved?"
"No!"
Ugh...really?

Hope to see some more gems posted here soon!

[dancing-bass]

Totally not phone related but still funny (not meaning to jack the thread)

I used to be a mechanics helper. Kid brings his car in saying it won't start. Long story short his engine is SHOT... Completely trashed
I ask him "when did you last change the oil?"

Blank stare...

"oil?"

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Ok back to silly cellphone customers...

Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com

[gotblackberry]

"Okay can you go ahead and take the battery out of the phone you're having problems with."
"Sure."
*Click*

[cenloe]

I use this phone for my bidness (prepaid customer).

HAHAHAHA, Thats good stuff.

Maybe his bidness was pimpin out **'s.

[AZBBFAN]

I am the car business, I very much appreciate this thread. It is slightly a form of comfort to know these people do this elsewhere and not just at my work!

[noaim]

sense I am not a VZW employee and my customers are end users I thought I would post this here..

it will probably make you laugh maybe..

Years back I put a brand new computer with windows 2000 I believe it was at the time onto someones desk.

The person called me convinced that the keyboard or something was broken because he couldn't log on.

I went down there and asked him to show me the steps he was taking..

the screen had the press ctrl + alt+ delete to log in.



he pressed
cntrl then let go
then pressed alt then let go
then delete then let go

Now I know that every user is on different levels but inside I was definitely laughing a little

[lilro]

^^^lollllll

Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com

[mattmext]

I am the car business, I very much appreciate this thread. It is slightly a form of comfort to know these people do this elsewhere and not just at my work!

LOL! I was thinking the exact same thing.

[vatothe0]

This happened just after I started to work for VZW so it really put me on the spot to not laugh and give a professional response.

"Why is my bill so high?"
"Well, I'm looking at your bill here, do you have it in front of you?" (should have known this one)
"No, why would I?"
"You're calling about it. Anyway, it looks like you went over your minutes. You are on a 400 minute plan and used 600 which resulted in airtime charges."
"What? Why should I have to pay extra for using more minutes?"



Turns out the guy was a math teacher at a high school too. He went on to explain how it was unreasonable for him to have to worry about how many minutes he uses so he shouldn't have to pay for going over. (#MIN existed at this time.) I suggested a higher calling plan and he said he couldn't afford to go onto the 800 minute plan. I must have spent 30 minutes explaining how $60 was going to be less than 200x$0.45 plus his $40 plan but he just didn't seem to get it.

[crackalackberry]

"there is no way I went over my minutes. It is absolutely impossible for me to use that many minutes."

"ok, I'm not saying you did. But that phone did, idk who used them but someone did. Your phone so your responsible."

Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com

[Michael Hepples]

I don't work in sales for a wireless company, but I do the tech support for all our employees BB's.

Had a user who had lost his browser, and I recommended he do a battry pull to get it back. He called me back 20 minutes later, swearing and screaming that I had broken his phone.

It would not power up, no mater what he tried, I was responsible because I recommended the battery pull, and I should replace his BB out of my pocket, was the gist of the tirade.

Told him I would call him back, seeing as how I had never run into this problem, logged in, and spent a while searching CB for similar problems, finding none.

Had a flash of inspiration, called him back, and asked him if he had remembered to put the battery back in afte pulling it out.

Dead silence...........

[ScottRPriester]

anyone else have any funny stories?

Please note: after reading these posts think about the reps, if you call in and think they are rude, chances are they have just had a higher number of stupid customers than normal.

I don't know about that, quite often, when someone has been rude to me, I'm even happier and funnier with the next customer instead of rude, because you're just wondering how much worse the next situation can be.

I've got so many stories to share I don't even know where to begin. Most of the stories I have to share are people getting upset about their bills when they don't pay the first bit of attention to them anyway, people wondering why their phones aren't working well when they have over 200 pictures stored on the phones memory instead of buying a memory card, or just plain lack of knowledge or understanding of the device they have. I especially love people coming in with their Storms saying it won't do this or that and I take it immediately and show them how to do it.

[crackalackberry]

How about the all too common "when I try to call speed dual number 3 my phone mysteriously shuts off!"

"yes well you think you are holding 3 but actually its the power button"

Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com

[scurvydlicious]

"I know I can block my number by dialing *67 but can I block my number for when people call me, so they can't see my number?"
"Ma'am, if someone is calling you, they already know your number..."

"Why should I have to pay a late fee!?"
"Ma'am, your bill was due 3 weeks ago and you still haven't paid..."

"What's this megabyte charge? What the **** is a megabyte?"

"I just found this phone in the subway, can I get it activated on my account?"

"How am I supposed to know using my phone would cost extra when I was in Mexico!?"

"My Blackberry says radio is off, if I turn it on can I listen to local stations?"

"I forgot my password for vzw.com, what do I do?"
"Click on forgot password."

"I don't recognize this phone number on my bill! You people just add stuff to my account all the time without my knowledge!! What is this!? I'm not paying!"
"Sir, that's your mobile broadband card..."
"Oh."

Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com

[Seraph08]

Where do I start?

"If you don't do this for me I will just take my business elswhere. Now what were you saying about a loyalty credit?"

"I don't know how my screen broke. I just woke up and it was cracked."

I am sorry sir/mam it looks like your phone has been water damaged at some point.

"Yeah but it worked fine for like a month!"

"They did it for me last time!"

"I have friends that have Blackberries on Verizon and they don't pay for data, they just pay for their internet."

"What do you mean I have to sign a new contract? I have been with you guys for 8 years."

[crackalackberry]

Lmfao! Ok I'm loving this!

Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com

[bs1two]

The dial tone don't work.

My phone never works (hear this all the time from customers that use hundreds of minutes a month).

I'd like to buy a battery for my cordless phone (home phone).

When I hear these 3 I have to go on a "stock check for a previous cust" aka walk outside and relieve myself bc the laughter is at an all time high. Those never get old.

"Okay can you go ahead and take the battery out of the phone you're having problems with."
"Sure."
*Click*

I always ask the person if they are on the phone they are having trouble with... most answer yes. I explicitly tell them write these steps down and call me back... most follow the steps and sure enough they get "disconnected" everytime. Baffles me as to how people can be this dumb.

I don't know about that, quite often, when someone has been rude to me, I'm even happier and funnier with the next customer instead of rude, because you're just wondering how much worse the next situation can be.

I've got so many stories to share I don't even know where to begin. Most of the stories I have to share are people getting upset about their bills when they don't pay the first bit of attention to them anyway, people wondering why their phones aren't working well when they have over 200 pictures stored on the phones memory instead of buying a memory card, or just plain lack of knowledge or understanding of the device they have. I especially love people coming in with their Storms saying it won't do this or that and I take it immediately and show them how to do it.

I love rude customers to be honest... bc they are the most uninformed people on Earth. They fly off the deep end when really it's a problem caused by them and they continue to ignore it until they get all pissy bc "we continue to charge them ridiculous fees."

And not to be rude but the normal person doesn't need a storm... and more idiots own a storm than any other device. **Or atleast that's how it seems**


I will try to come up with some of mine but nothings coming up at the moment.

[maetwagn]

"Sir it seems your phone has been exposed to some form of moisture."

"MOISTURE, LIKE WHAT...RAIN?"

"well sir, yes rain would be a form of moisture."

[bleeps]

Not quite on topic, but probably close enough...

A few years back, I overheard a phone call between a friend of mine and a CSR, I'm pretty sure it was Verizon.
My buddy called to say that he had been really drunk for most of the previous billing cycle, and had gone way over on his minutes calling people while drunk, and was hoping he wouldn't have to pay the substantial overage charge. He was very polite when he called, and also more than a little drunk.
Well, his story must have made the CSR's night, because they knocked 500 minutes off his bill. Whenever people complain about how mean, rude or unhelpful CSR's are, I always think back to this, and wonder 'How bad can they be'?