[cre8tivspirit]

First off let me assure you that I'm not angry, bitter or in any way upset. I'm simply confused.

A little over a year ago I bought my 8310 Curve and joined this forum in the hopes of meeting new people who might share common interests. I chose the BB because it was, in my opinion, the best option on the market to achieve that goal. It offered me the ability to stay in communication with my family by way of SMS and email as well as make new friends by way of BB Messenger and this forum. Here's where my confusion comes in.

Even though I have expressed an interest in many different social and pin sharing threads as well as reached out to many different members in order to add new contacts, I still have an empty BBM queue.

Is it because I'm a 47 year old married male who most feel they have nothing in common with or anything to share with? Have I become to outdated for socializing?

I've been contemplating an upgrade for my BB and was considering the Bold but in light of the fact that I can't seem to develop any pin sharing contacts, what reason would I have to stay with the BB and not just go with something like the I-Phone? After all, it can surf the net and email just like the BB can. I'm pretty sure that I can still gtalk with an I-Phone and all the other little bells and whistles.

Bottom line, I just want to know what it is about an older guy that makes others think he wouldn't be interesting to chat with. Is it just me?

Honesty appreciated. Cruel/stupid can keep it to themselves.

[GapBoyPCS]

Having BBM is like having another chat program like AIM, MSN, etc. The problem with BBM is that it's really device-specific. So, if you have someone that wants to chat with you and doesn't have a BlackBerry, you're out of luck.

I don't believe many of us got a BlackBerry specifically for BBM. You are correct that many other devices can offer the same IM and email functions of a BB.

That being said, the BB is a great tool in communicating with others. However, I don't think you should just limit networking with those here on CB and maybe other sites with similar PIN/contact sharing information. We're all human beings and we need to interact with others. Everyone has a choice in whom they choose to contact. If people don't want to communicate with others, it's nothing personal. We all do it in real life (cold shoulders, limited small talk, etc.). Making friends using BBM or other messaging systems is often difficult because you're only getting feedback from the words being typed. You miss out on other feelers like physical expressions and tones of voice.

The old-fashioned way of joining different clubs or associations, or maybe getting involved in after-hours recreational activities still works if you want to chat with people. Maybe they also have BlackBerries...and you can end up sharing each other's contact information. Not everyone with a BlackBerry frequent online forums like CB (unfortunately).

[mykey2k]

I have to agree. During a wipe/upgrade/whatever of my phone I noticed that BBM had the ability not to be installed. So I unticked the box.

I am really the only one in my circle with a BlackBerry, everyone else has iPhones, SideKicks, Treos, or use their computers for IM and cell phones for txt messaging.

I do use AIM, MSN, Skype and GoogleTalk, and so does everyone else I need to talk to. I think I am the only one on all 4 (and it would be six if I didn't convert some people from ICQ and Y!) with all my friends considered.

That said, I am not adverse to giving the PIN out (as you might see) but I just don't have the reason to have another chat program that I don't necessarily have a need for (at this time).

-m

[cre8tivspirit]

All very good points and I do use other chat/IM tools to talk to people I know. The reason I mentioned BBM specifically is because of the fact that this is, for the most part, a BB exclusive forum.

Maybe people in general no longer want to build social networks outside of their immediate comfort zones.

[LuvMyBB]

Maybe people in general no longer want to build social networks outside of their immediate comfort zones.

I think that is the key. We have so many different ways to communicate and get so much of it that many of just don't have the time or interest in adding "strangers" to our circle. I'd just be happy to get the people I already know using BBM (by getting the data plan).

[Spinny]

I'm another 47 year old married male, and my expectations couldn't be more different. I won't post my PIN, and if I gave it any thought I'd have deleted BBM from my phone. The only reason I sought out an IM app (I picked BeeJive) was so I could have easy contact with my grown kids who live in three different states now.

I have a small but active social circle and really have had no interest in including people whom I've contacted only on BB-related matters. I noted there is a thriving social posting area here but have no interest in checking it out. I'm in my comfort zone talking technical BB-related issues, learning new things, giving what little help I'm able, and sometimes cutting up or busting someone's chops here if I think they'd appreciate it. Beyond that I'd feel somewhat infringed upon.

That's pretty much the extent of my BB-related socializing. That's not to say there's anything at all wrong with other perspectives, only that I'm not feeling it.

[cre8tivspirit]

Interesting feedback. Maybe I will just remove BBM. I am a little disappointed though because there was the hope of meeting/chatting with other interesting people through the BB.

Maybe it is my generation. I was trying to find some of my old classmates from senior year of high school and they aren't on Facebook or Classmates.com. Oh well.

Thanks for the feedback.

[Kaylajoy21]

I've talked on numerous topics throughout this entire forum (all combined) and I only have about 14 messenger contacts. And like, 10 are ppl I work with.

I don't think you're alone in the not really connecting with people through the BBM. I just don't really use my BB for that feature only. I love it, but if I don't use it, I don't really lose any sleep over it.

[Spinny]

Maybe it is my generation. I was trying to find some of my old classmates from senior year of high school and they aren't on Facebook or Classmates.com. Oh well.

I actually did use Classmates.com to good effect this past Summer. It was the main resource for organizing our 30 year class reunion, and I re-connected with a couple of classmates I'd literally not heard from since graduation. I can't speak to Facebook or Myspace, having never been there.

[izzyardo]

The only reason I've kept my BBM is to communicate things like 'bring home milk' to my husband without having to use one my precious 200 text messages that I get in a month. My only other friend that has a BB can't figure out how to work her BBM, so I'm out of luck there. I mostly use GoogleTalk.

[jerry12]

First off let me assure you that I'm not angry, bitter or in any way upset. I'm simply confused.

A little over a year ago I bought my 8310 Curve and joined this forum in the hopes of meeting new people who might share common interests. I chose the BB because it was, in my opinion, the best option on the market to achieve that goal. It offered me the ability to stay in communication with my family by way of SMS and email as well as make new friends by way of BB Messenger and this forum. Here's where my confusion comes in.

Even though I have expressed an interest in many different social and pin sharing threads as well as reached out to many different members in order to add new contacts, I still have an empty BBM queue.

Is it because I'm a 47 year old married male who most feel they have nothing in common with or anything to share with? Have I become to outdated for socializing?

I've been contemplating an upgrade for my BB and was considering the Bold but in light of the fact that I can't seem to develop any pin sharing contacts, what reason would I have to stay with the BB and not just go with something like the I-Phone? After all, it can surf the net and email just like the BB can. I'm pretty sure that I can still gtalk with an I-Phone and all the other little bells and whistles.

Bottom line, I just want to know what it is about an older guy that makes others think he wouldn't be interesting to chat with. Is it just me?

Honesty appreciated. Cruel/stupid can keep it to themselves.

i have had some people on crackberry that would not give me their pin because of my age.i don't care about someones age to be able to chat with them i am not going to say anything on the messenger that i wouldn't say on this forum.you can see in the social forums that it is broken down by age / women / hot women/ Christan / and others. age just doesn't matter to me because i am going to keep the messenger talk clean.

[Tlynnsmith]

All very good points and I do use other chat/IM tools to talk to people I know. The reason I mentioned BBM specifically is because of the fact that this is, for the most part, a BB exclusive forum.

Maybe people in general no longer want to build social networks outside of their immediate comfort zones.

That's true, because many people in this day and age haven't been "socialized" too well, IMO. I have friends of all ages/races � always have, but I've always been an "old soul", preferring older friends (when I was a youngin'), over ones my own age. So now, I'm truly in my "comfort zone", when it comes to age preference. But I still get the 20-30 somethings, who want to be friends.

I don't have my BB yet � but I would love to chat with you, when I get it! I look forward to actually using the "messaging" feature on a phone. My current janky cell phone isn't the best.

So, don't take it to heart.



I'm almost 46, BTW.

[Pearlish]

When I first joined CrackBerry.com I had my pin listed in my profile. I thought, like you, that if I "met" someone who shared some common interests then it would be easier to chat and/or send photos. The first CrackBerry person I befriended was someone in the same state, but a bit north of my location. We would converse occasionally, but with my job it was difficult to chat during working hours, and this person soon faded away, since I didn't chat much. The next person to message me, sometime later, was a learning experience. He messaged often, sent pictures, talked about work and family, all good things. Then one day he asked me 2 VERY personal questions and it made me very uncomfortable. I stopped answering, and removed my pin. I guess it taught me that there are very few people who just want to say hi, how was your day?, without thinking you want to date or more. Lesson learned. Having said that, you and I are the same age, and may have some common interests beyond family lives. If you'd like some occasional conversations from this part of sunny Florida, feel free to send me a PM.

[dknyberry]

I just think there's too many crazies out there nowadays, so I have no interest in chatting with total strangers through PIN messages, but have no issues if it's a public forum format.