[honkey]

Anyone else out there in a relationship you're not happy with but don't have it in you to break your significant other's heart?

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[anon(375378)]

Wow, good luck on getting members to post info about their private relationships.

I'll say this...Have you both tried talking about it, sought counseling or anything of that nature?

If there are children involved, would it devastate them?

I suggest you talk with someone privately. This is a public board and you might get answers you really don�t want to hear or poor advice.

I wish you well.

[honkey]

Lol wasn't looking for advice per se. I was just bored, trying to avoid going to bed and was wondering if I anybody else had a similar situation.

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[pashan]

Not at the moment, but I've sure been there. I stuck out 8 or so years of that to get to where I am today. Not blissful, but not miserable anymore either!!

I know the "I don't want to go to bed but have nothing else to do" feeling! I spent lots of time at work...

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[jgostained]

Happily Married! If I ever forget that I just look at my ex's myspace page and see what a jacked up life I lived in my past life. I do have doubts like everyone does but she is my wife and I do love her.

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[cereal killer]

Honkey you married? No worries I'm not hitting on you : )

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[honkey]

Yeah I'm married. And don't get me wrong, I'm not going anywhere or doing anything stupid. like I said earlier, I'm just wondering if I'm a weirdo.

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[anon(52425)]

This thread seems like it could get depressing real quick.

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[cereal killer]

Honkey if your unhappily married and have tryed to make it work out already there's nothing wrong with moving on.

You deserve to be happy as does your wife. Life moves to fast to be unhappy and live like that.

There's nothing wrong with having these feelings its normal really. Sometimes we fall out of love or we grow apart. It happens a lot and its neither good nor bad it is what it is.

I'm not saying to just up and leave but if you really don't want to be with her your not being fair to yourself and more importantly her.

My main point I want to make though is that its ok if you don't want to be married anymore. It happens. While its unpleasant to face these things you really do owe it to yourself and your wife to do what's right for you both. You won't be doing her any favors by sticking around being unhappy.

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[luvitlo]

Grow out of love yuo mean you just had a long strand of factuation for the same person. I've been taught that marrigae is a sacred bond and it has to be nurtured and cared for You did say "For richer or poorer, In Sickness and In Heath Until DEATH do us part." Key word is DEATH I'm happily married and it ain't always a bed of roses but Love is more that a right now feeling. Besides if you divorce she gets half of everything so get ready to liquidate your assets and break out the chainsaw LOL (diary of a mad black woman, Madea Rules LOL)

[squiddaddy]

I was married for 15 years and stuck out 10 because of some stupid reason like "till death do us part." Staying in a miserable situation that goes nowhere is "death" and it time to part. In the end I caught her screwing around and she's still with the guy.

So basically if you're not happy, made attemts to move forward and find yourself back where you started. Get the f out. Don't waste your time or hers.

[contractorslim]

Well I'm not trying to put my 2 cents in but we heard something on the radio and they said it costs more to get divorced than it costs to stay together in say an "open relationship.". Me and my wife are happily married and I'm not speaking from any of experience or anything. Just thought I would share the piece of information that we learned. Good luck

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[pstereo]

Yeah I'm married. And don't get me wrong, I'm not going anywhere or doing anything stupid. like I said earlier, I'm just wondering if I'm a weirdo.

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You're not a weirdo, I've been there before. Stayed longer due to promises that things were going to change, then being led to believe that I was the problem so I tried and tried to make it work. Only to notice that I was the only one making changes while she was still being a Bi'sh.
My gut told me after the first few heated arguments that it was over, but I tried to make things work.
At the end I got rid of her. didn't really have a place to bury the body so I had to eat her. Took about 2 months to eat the body. And I'm glad, 'cause my fridge was too full..





JUST KIDDING... I didn't really kill her...






(I had someone else do it)....

LOL...just kidding..... hmmm no I'm not.

[squiddaddy]

^^^^^^^^^^^
Lmao!!!!

[STYLN]

WOW! I hope none of yur "significant others" are reading this thread! lol

[honkey]

WOW! I hope none of yur "significant others" are reading this thread! lol

Maybe I'm hoping she does...

[Chainer99]

I'm not to happy! The first six year were good but the last 3 damn!

[ItsBets]

Roflmao, Pstereo!!! :-D

. . .And yes, I completely agree with you, squiddaddy- no sense tolerating a miserable "existence" just because you vowed "till death do you part".

When I was a little girl I wanted to be the Tooth Fairy. I've since changed my mind - people change, people walk down different paths through life.

What are the divorce statistics these days? :-/ You are more likely to fail than to succeed, and your 2nd, 3rd, 4th ...etc marriages are even more doomed to fail.

What do you think? In 100yrs, will marriage only be an 'old-fashioned' thing of the past?

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[honkey]

I guess I just aint wired to give up. Must be the Marine in me. Never been a cheater either. Can't disrespect her or myself that way. So I guess I'll just man up.

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[ps2widow]

Pstereo....That was some funny stuff. Thanks I needed that!

[pstereo]

See like said before, why tolerate for the rest of your life. Being miserable in a relationship just because you made a promise.
I have relatives that have stayed together because of the kids, though they can't stand each other, and disrespect each other verbally constantly.
but what about when the kids leave. What do you have left?

BTW, my lawyers have advised me from further commenting on this thread due to my last confe..errr I mean my last post on here.

[xoclirpa]

One of my biggest pet peeves is people who stay miserable in a relationship, whine about it, and then want you to feel sorry for them. Bottom line is that relationships are hard work but if all you feel is misery then end it. And look at the relationship as a whole and decide if you are unhappy altogether or if there are some things you can compromise for your partner. I'm a firm believer in picking and choosing your battles. Not everything is worth b*tching over! Couples always seem to hold on for the kids...but do you really want your children growing up thinking that is what a healthy relationship is supposed to be like? Move on. Life is way too short to spend it unhappy.

[exelant]

I'm not advising being unhappy or "manning up" and staying, but you have at least one kid. You might try to go to counselling to at least get to the reasons you have grown apart. If you can find a way to regain your happiness, it might be worth it. At the very least, this will get your feelings out in the open and it won't be a huge shock to everyone when you drop the bombshell.

Your wife probably already suspects and that will make her try to hold on harder -- which makes you push away harder. I've been there. We ended up getting divorced with joint custody of our children. We're happier now, but it would have saved us a lot of heart ache if we had gone through therapy. It at least lessen the shock on everyone else.

I mention that because while it is only your business, everyone you know will choose sides. Unfortunately, if you leave you will lose most of your joint friends. I did, there wasn't anyone else involved or anything, it's just that moms are more sympathetic. That's just the way it is.

That's why being open and doing things the right way is so important. The right way is the way that puts your child first. No fighting (the hardest thing), being honest, talk about how you got to where you are. Tell her what she did to push you away. You probably shouldn't talk about it too much on a public forum. Lawyers always find out and will use anything and everything you say against you.

Good luck.

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[luvitlo]

This is why our country is falling apart if you have a problem quit if the boss makes you cry quit if you accidently get pregnant quit (abortion) if you too chicken to be a man when you knock a girl up by "accident" run away and quit get married just because she hot if she gain weight quit divorce used to be a stoning offence and there were no remarriages let's go back to 1801 good years we was free cowboy justice and no divorce

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[2NP1]

I've been through a lot of ups and downs for about 13 years. I've learned that nobody is as happy or as miserable as they appear. I find peace in knowing that my kids are on the right path and when they are grown I will be more comfortable putting me first again.

Short version-its not about me right now.

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