[cold_socka]

I have a friend who has borrowed money from me a few times. She is a single mother of a young child and has a very low paying job, so I understand her need for financial assistance. The first time I loaned her $1000 so she could move, then I loaned her $100 for something. I am not sure what, she spoke to my wife about it. However, my problem is that she asked for $100 a third time, and this time it was because her cable TV was turned off (she didn't pay the bill). She doesn't just have regular cable, she has AT&T U-verse with DVR. She also has a Blackberry with an unlimied data plan. Those things aren't cheap. I'm angry that she asks for money to pay for this non-basic and expensive stuff. I feel she does not manage money well, and her financial problems are more due to her lack of financial responsibility and less with a serious need for assistance. In her defense, she has always paid us back and it's only a $100, so am I a **** for being upset about this? Is it fair to loan someone money and be critical about what they spend it on?

[Radius]

I've been through this and I found that sometimes people learn best when you are in "no position" to help them that day if you know what I mean. Once they start losing things they begin to learn to act a little more responsibly.

And if not, then it really isn't your fault. unless you're independently wealthy then you have to have limits.

[highjakker]

i agree with the wise Radius. unless you're gonna change your name to welfare then i'd put a stop to it. i'm sure you heard her say the first time "this will be the only time i ask..." or have at least heard "this will be the last time..." there's no future in enabling.

[the_sandman_454]

Yep, your friend needs to get her priorities straightened out and live within her means. You are enabling her to be irresponsible.

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[SterlingArcher]

i turned off my cable a few months ago because i was tired of worrying about paying for it since half of my paycheck now goes to my soon-to-be-ex-wife. i also dont have a bed (just a mattress on the floor) or any other furniture besides a couch and a giant tv. cancelled my netflix and stopped going out to lunch as much. I GOTS MY ISH STRAIT YOS

[Mavis Fesselmeyer]

AND YOU HAZ INTERWEBZ! Yo

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[SterlingArcher]

AND YOU HAZ INTERWEBZ! Yo

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I steal wifi from neighbors.

[KillYouWithMyMind]

Don't loan money to anyone. Certain family members I can understand, at least in my case.

Nobody needs cable tv, I find it despicable she would even ask for something like that.

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[cain0013]

Just cut her off. You already know that she Is using you.

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[ShiPanda]

A few times is okay, if she needs it really bad. But not for tv or something she could go without. We let our friends borrow our carpet shampooer deal and it took over a month for them to give it back because they were "never home." I will never let them borrow anything else again.

[2Tx1503]

really? for u-verse cable and dv-r... damn. thats like a bum asking for a cheeseburger with light lettuce cooked well done... askin a litttttle too much.

[NurseBerryAddict]

Either you want to loan it or you don't. I have a feeling you are questioning what she spends it on because you don't really want to loan it. If it has to come down to being upset what she spends it on then I would simply say I don't have it. I understand because I have been in that position. When it's not a necessity I always conveniently don't have it at that time. When it is, I help.

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[SterlingArcher]

cold socka can i borrow $500? I want to start a small fire with hundred dolla billas yall

[anlygi]

If it's a true friend and you can afford to loan her the money then I would. If she shes the sort of 'friend' that only contacts you when they need something then don't. You should also remind her that cable TV is a luxury, not an essential.

If she has paid you back before then she can afford it so it's probably just the case that she cant keep track of her outgoings enough to keep funds in the bank to cover it.

[Blkbear]

Basic rule for loaning money is, never loan money you plan to use for something else, with hopes of getting back before you need it.

After that only loan money you want to loan. Forget why they want/need it, if you have it to help, loan it, if not just say so. If you want to put strings on the loan, that's fine, just make sure it's in writing and you and they know exactly what the loan terms are. If you expect to be paid back, make it clear when that is to happen, and that you are not a bank or an atm, so the favor of the loan is not an invitation to ask whenever a bill can't be paid.

The first time you are not paid back at the agreed upon time frame, let the person know that money favors have ended for anything other than life and death.

But to avoid hassles. "No" works really well.

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[highjakker]

is she hot? maybe you can work something out....lol

[jshuford]

"Never lend money that you can't afford to lose!"