BlackBerry Attempts To Woo E*TRADE Baby Back Into The Fold With “The Bold Team”

[lak611]

Remember a few years ago, when BlackBerry was the hottest thing around? From 1999 to about 2009, a BlackBerry was to the business professional what a Mercedes logo on a gold rope was to a rapper. Business bling. A status symbol. Street cred. Everybody who was anybody had or wanted a BlackBerry. Even the E*TRADE Baby was diaper-deep in cash and dishing hot stock tips, all thanks to his trusty BlackBerry. Cripes, he was a Super Bowl ad, for ’s sake! E*TRADE Baby made BlackBerry teh hawtness.

"A Glock, fool? Das old! Now yo Daddy's rockin' a Bold!"

Heck, it even spilled over into the rap arena. East Coast, West Coast, it didn’t matter. Everybody was all “Hit meh on muh BlackBurreh, yo.” The threat of your adversary having an always-on connection to his boyz made you think twice about jackin’ him up at the club, lest he BBM the rain down on your sorry .

Well, in recent years, the BlackBerry Panache has become more of a pock-marked patina. With BlackBerry OS aging quickly, the shiny-fixated hipster brigades and Jobophiles flocked to the iDifferent iPhone as fast as they could pedal their iFixies to the nearest Apple Rectal Injection Facility. Alpha geeks and run-of-the-mill nerds alike defected to the Little Green Android That Could, and immediately began reverse-engineering it. The newcomers embraced the consumer masses and blew the demographic wide open.

Even the E*TRADE Baby, that icon of excess and capitalism, jumped ship and got himself a new fruit friend.

RIM has been slow to change, and has lost ground because of it, but that ends now.

Clearly targeting the all-important E*TRADE Baby demographic (male, 0-1, not potty-trained, capitalist), Research In Motion is firing back with The Bold Team!

BEHOLD! BE BOLD!

The Bold Team counts among its members:

GoGo Girl, The Achiever – She’s clever, resourceful, and just a bit random. And, if I may say, lookin’ mighty hot in them gogo boots.
Max Stone, The Adventurer – He’s tough, proud, and a little wild. Always up for adventure and has an awesome porn name, to boot. I mean, really, he could just walk in, strip, and get right in front of the camera. Seriously. He will rock the Brawny Man ‘stache when he hits puberty.
Justin Steele, the Token Black Guy The Advocate – Because every team needs one of each, don’t they? He saves cats and tweets about it.
Trudy Foreal, The Authentic – Inquisitive, cautious, and unabashedly charming. All traits you definitely want in a superhero, I guess, but 2 outta 3 of ‘em’ll get you killed in a horror movie, right after Justin Steele says, “I’ll be right back”.



Dora The Explorer – Dora is the quirky-but-hot tech nerd who stays at HQ, checks her maps, finds her monkey, and makes the field team look good. Can’t wait to find out what she explores in her off-time….



So there you have it. Gogo, Stone, Steele, Foreal. With a side of Dora for eye-candy. Brilliant. This new marketing milkshake will bring ALL the E*TRADE boys back to the yard. Remember: you heard it here first. Bravo, RIM. Keep innovating!

» BlackBerry Attempts To Woo E*TRADE Baby Back Into The Fold With “The Bold Team” Teknologis.tk

[Thunderbuck]

Cheap. Shot.

[rrrebo]

Originally Posted by Thunderbuck

Cheap. Shot.

But it's still funny, and it's better with pics. Most cheap shots at RIM these days are just hateful.

P.S. When did Dora get hot?

[ritesh]

Originally Posted by rrrebo

P.S. When did Dora get hot?

Exactly....Isa the Iguana is way hotter, with her sexy voice..

[Superfly_FR]

Just to be sure some of you figure that, of course, even being quite funny, this his reheated reality distortion: http://crackberry.com/be-bold-infogr...ising-campaign .

Edit : this particular site "is pure satire and is meant to be funny" so I suppose I over-reacted ... a bit

[rrrebo]

Originally Posted by Superfly_FR

Just to be sure some of you figure that, of course, even being quite funny, this his reheated reality distortion: http://crackberry.com/be-bold-infogr...ising-campaign .

I called that before RIM issued their clarification. One infographic based on a specific event does not an "advertising campaign" make.

You DO realize that site is pure satire and is meant to be funny, right?

[Rickroller]

“Hit meh on muh BlackBurreh, yo.” The threat of your adversary having an always-on connection to his boyz made you think twice about jackin’ him up at the club, lest he BBM the rain down on your sorry ."

They're poking fun, and the article made me chuckle. If I were RIM, i'd probably run with it somehow, and poke fun at themselves to try to keep the "mood" light. Same as in life, if you do something stupid and people are pointing and laughing, sometimes all's you can do is laugh right along with them.

[soogriffin]

Hey, i LOVE the E Trade baby commercials. Hilarious.

[Superfly_FR]

Originally Posted by rrrebo

I called that before RIM issued their clarification. One infographic based on a specific event does not an "advertising campaign" make.

You DO realize that site is pure satire and is meant to be funny, right?

Sorry then, my Spanish cow English ... again.
Edited.

[steve911]

I'm waiting to see the Be Bold Team staring in their own Saturday morning cartoons.