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  1. Anastasia Beaverhousen's Avatar
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    Thread AuthorThread Author   #1  

    Default Open letter to BlackBerry Messenger... or he's just not that into me.

    Dearest BBM,

    It's time we had a talk.

    I know you're just acting out. I know you see my relationship with SMS and email. I know you're jealous. I know you're hurting. But they're just friends - I swear. It's just work messages! They'll never mean as much to me as you do. So let's talk about why you keep toying with my heart.

    You've currently listed all of my contacts as "unavailable." Not even funny. You say you had nothing to do with this. But I'm not the unreasonable sort. I realize I'm a handful but for all 50 or so contacts to realize that and be "unavailable" to my shenanigans at the same time? Crazy talk. For funsies, I added myself from my work BB and lo and behold, I'm unavailable... to myself. That's thousands of therapy dollars right there, BBM. I hope you're happy.

    Undaunted, I scrolled around to see what other sort of nonsense you're up to. And you never disappoint, do you? Hark, there's the same ten "Pending Contacts" - still pending authorization, still pending unavailibility since Tour has come into my life. It's your word against theirs but they maintain that they never received a request. Don't worry, baby. I know that this is simply not true. Why would you waste an opportunity for ten addition contacts to be unavailable to me?

    Let's talk about the time you deleted all of my contacts. Really, BBSadist? Really? As much as I loved your "if I can't have you, no one can" tantrum, I'm not going to lie... I wanted to strangle that BlackBerry symbol right off of your smirky thought bubble. Sometimes I think you're woman because only a woman think about doing something so deliciously treacherous as to wipe my contact list. I'm plotting revenge but seriously? What am I going to do to you? Ping you to death? Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you? Douchenugget.

    After that episode, I even thought about going to father Balsillie but his hands are pretty full with another Canada-hater in Bettman. Doesn't matter anyway, because what was the next thing that you did? Oh yes, you pulled the ol' MIA. You deleted yourself from my phone. You ran away and I was left with a sleepless night wondering where did you spend the night? Who's messages did you find comfort in? WHO DID YOU PING TO DEATH? Oh RIM, it hurts.

    Now, let's talk about your needless attention ***** tendancies. You know, the one where you perpetually have a little bubble saying "2 new messages" when you and I both know there isn't one. Remember? Unavailable contacts! You can't even keep up with your own tactics.

    I hate that I love you, BBM. I hate that you know I'll never leave you for that **** SMS. And even though email's always trying to get his spam in my box... er, nevermind. You're jealous enough.

    Forever yours,
    A. Beaverho
  2. 1Fish2FishRedFishBlueFish's Avatar
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    the tail on the donkey.
    #2  

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    *CLAP*
    I'm glad someone took a stand.
    I'm too much of a vag to stand up to my BBM.
  3. imiller's Avatar
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    #3  

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    Lol that's great ..... Much needed talk

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
  4. happygirl7973's Avatar
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    #4  

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    What's going on here tonight? Lots and lots of personification for the BlackBerries...

    I think I like this one best.
  5. klsmalls1's Avatar
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    #5  

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    Man I know you can't wait till you can upgrade to 5.0 Full edition, that you can text and message all from your upgrade!
    Man, I wish women were like that... *sigh*
    Real men wear Royal Blue and Pure White...
    (And Have a Blackberry TOUR in their Pocket )
    Phi Beta Sigma Fraternity, Inc.
    G.O.M.A.B.
  6. cfreese66's Avatar
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    #6  

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    That was funny! I loved it!
  7. gotblackberry's Avatar
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    #7  

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    A+ Post.

    Had me laughing.
  8. mattyg151's Avatar
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    #8  

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    hahahaha what an amazing post
    I'm rocking 9700 / Incredible (soon to be Nexus S) / iPhone 4
  9. saejosh's Avatar
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    #9  

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    this by far was one of the funniest things i have read in a long time.
    well said
    "Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today." James Dean
  10. nyyankeefan1021's Avatar
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    #10  

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    hahaha very clever. A welcome change from the usual posts.
  11. HapaDC5's Avatar
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    #11  

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    Fantastic... to the top for this one.
  12. pufftissue's Avatar
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    #12  

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    What is so awesome about BB Messenger above and beyond MSN or google talk? You can only chat with people who have a BB, which for me is very few people. I would try it and find out but none of my regular chat contacts has a BB.
  13. thepanttherlady's Avatar
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    #14  

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    Absolutely brilliant! Thank you
  14. Slavex's Avatar
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    #15  

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    aweseome post. I just rolled over my toe with my office chair.
  15. PartyGal's Avatar
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    #16  

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    Excellent Post! 5 thumbs up!
  16. mosipher's Avatar
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    #17  

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    Haha! This was a perfect way to start my day. Thank you!

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
  17. princesuperstar1226's Avatar
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    #18  

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by klsmalls1 View Post
    Man I know you can't wait till you can upgrade to 5.0 Full edition, that you can text and message all from your upgrade!
    Man, I wish women were like that... *sigh*
    I saw a video with the sms support in bbm 5.0 ... *drools*
  18. rmingram's Avatar
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    #19  

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    The best and most original post I've read since joining the site several weeks ago. This is good information in case my BBM5 begins to act out and rebel, lol.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
  19. GardenState's Avatar
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    #20  

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    GREAT POST!!! Best thing I've read on CB! What am I going to do Ping you to death... CLASSIC!
  20. BoostedStorm's Avatar
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    #21  

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    Fvcking EPIC!!! Hahahaha

    Even though I don't even use that ***** BBM this was a great post! +1 ( A. Beaverho ) bahaha

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
  21. BoostedStorm's Avatar
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    #22  

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    Oh how I laugh!! ' Always trying to get his spam in my box ' roflmao

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
  22. Detective M Downs's Avatar
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    #23  

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    Clever, but why complain about an unofficial BBM5?? If, you're having so any problems, switch back?!?!

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