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06-20-2011, 03:19 PM
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| |  WSJ: Copier Jams at RIM Headquarters!
Developing Hot!!!
Trusted sources and unnamed insiders reported today at Research In Motion's Headquarters at Phillip Street in Waterloo, Ontario, that one of the back-up copiers on the fourth floor briefly jammed this morning. A sheet of paper went all shready while winding its way through the copier and got bungled up, causing the copier to produce error messages. Technicians were able to free the damaged paper, but it could not be salvaged and had to be ritually destroyed.
Compounding RIM's difficulties, the technicians got all inky-black stuff on their hands, so that soap and water had to be applied, then rinsed off, followed by a drying procedure which is believed to have involved either towling or one of those noisy air blowers.
RIM executives have refused to comment on the incident. There is no guarantee that the copier, or conceivably other copiers at RIM, might, in the future be subject to jams. RIM's refusal to acknowledge or address in detail this morning's cascading catastrophe calls into further doubt, the future viability of the company.
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06-20-2011, 03:22 PM
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LMAO....has BGR said if this is the final nail in RIM's coffin???
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06-20-2011, 03:55 PM
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*applause*
*like*
*thank*
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06-20-2011, 04:05 PM
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I'm glad you can make fun of real people who've invested in RIMM, only to keep losing a huge amount of money. A person who bought RIMM stock in June 2008 @ 148.13 a share now sees his investment dwindled to a paltry $26.36 a share. Jim Balsillie and Mike Lazaridis and other higher up exec's will be fine, but REAL people invest in companies also, not just Wall Street "Fat Cats". People's RIMM investments have lost them REAL money, life savings. and by the way, The Wall Street Journal has been around since 1889, let's see how long RIM will be around. Do me a favor and e-mail your joke to a current working stiff getting by RIMM investor, I'm sure he'll find it very funny.
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06-20-2011, 04:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by leftypepper716  I'm glad you can make fun of real people who've invested in RIMM, only to keep losing a huge amount of money. A person who bought RIMM stock in June 2008 @ 148.13 a share now sees his investment dwindled to a paltry $26.36 a share. Jim Balsillie and Mike Lazaridis and other higher up exec's will be fine, but REAL people invest in companies also, not just Wall Street "Fat Cats". People's RIMM investments have lost them REAL money, life savings. and by the way, The Wall Street Journal has been around since 1889, let's see how long RIM will be around. Do me a favor and e-mail your joke to a current working stiff getting by RIMM investor, I'm sure he'll find it very funny. | Investing in the stock market is a risk they choose to take. The future of stocks is by nature unpredictable. Funny how people like you scream and whine and blame RIM. Couldn't be the rocky economy and high employment figures that are causing stocks to dip now could it?
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Thread Author
# 6
06-20-2011, 04:30 PM
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Originally Posted by leftypepper716 I'm glad you can make fun of real people who've invested in RIMM, only to keep losing a huge amount of money. A person who bought RIMM stock in June 2008 @ 148.13 a share now sees his investment dwindled to a paltry $26.36 a share. Jim Balsillie and Mike Lazaridis and other higher up exec's will be fine, but REAL people invest in companies also, not just Wall Street "Fat Cats". People's RIMM investments have lost them REAL money, life savings. and by the way, The Wall Street Journal has been around since 1889, let's see how long RIM will be around. Do me a favor and e-mail your joke to a current working stiff getting by RIMM investor, I'm sure he'll find it very funny. | I guess you didn't get it. If the tech and financial press wouldn't over-react and pile on with each new rumor, speculation, theory, etc., about RIM's future, maybe the assessment of its value, and that of their products, would be more rational. That would allow investors to make more rational decisions, rather than trying to gauge just how far afield the tech and financial press will go, and how their lurching "news" coverage might impact stock price in the short term. The WSJ has been around for a long time, although not always under its present ownership. You could look it up.
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06-20-2011, 04:31 PM
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Yes, this was an absolute classic Piece. You sir, deserve a Daytime Emmy. Much Thanks for your work.
Lefty, seriously...as an investor in RIMM, I find this to be Hilarious. No one who does so without knowing the risks involved. Stocks fluctuate, I don't lose any sleep over this sort of thing.
Second, the WSJ is so slanted, the letters slide right off the Page. They have been an incredibly biased newspaper for years, and to be frank, they're more in danger than RIMM, because Newspaper is a truly dying Media Form.
Lighten up, laugh a little, and CHILL. I don't know who gave you the mission to convince us that RIM is a dead company, and I really don't care.
I got the message, as did the rest of us. We hear all of the Bad news, we see it, we have committed it to memory. Thank you for your Service, now please calm down. We know you're dedicated to BlackBerry, just have Faith.
Again, mmcpher this was a classic. Keep up the good work.
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06-20-2011, 04:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by leftypepper716 I'm glad you can make fun of real people who've invested in RIMM, only to keep losing a huge amount of money. A person who bought RIMM stock in June 2008 @ 148.13 a share now sees his investment dwindled to a paltry $26.36 a share. Jim Balsillie and Mike Lazaridis and other higher up exec's will be fine, but REAL people invest in companies also, not just Wall Street "Fat Cats". People's RIMM investments have lost them REAL money, life savings. and by the way, The Wall Street Journal has been around since 1889, let's see how long RIM will be around. Do me a favor and e-mail your joke to a current working stiff getting by RIMM investor, I'm sure he'll find it very funny. | And people that ditched their stocks when Apple hit their low $4/share area, investors warned not to buy Apple, etc... - I'm sure they're kicking themselves now.
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06-20-2011, 05:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mmcpher Developing Hot!!!
Trusted sources and unnamed insiders reported today at Research In Motion's Headquarters at Phillip Street in Waterloo, Ontario, that one of the back-up copiers on the fourth floor briefly jammed this morning. A sheet of paper went all shready while winding its way through the copier and got bungled up, causing the copier to produce error messages. Technicians were able to free the damaged paper, but it could not be salvaged and had to be ritually destroyed.
Compounding RIM's difficulties, the technicians got all inky-black stuff on their hands, so that soap and water had to be applied, then rinsed off, followed by a drying procedure which is believed to have involved either towling or one of those noisy air blowers.
RIM executives have refused to comment on the incident. There is no guarantee that the copier, or conceivably other copiers at RIM, might, in the future be subject to jams. RIM's refusal to acknowledge or address in detail this morning's cascading catastrophe calls into further doubt, the future viability of the company. | Thank you for giving me the best laugh of the day!! I hope you don't mind if I copy and share it in my emails!  |
06-20-2011, 05:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by leftypepper716 I'm glad you can make fun of real people who've invested in RIMM, only to keep losing a huge amount of money. A person who bought RIMM stock in June 2008 @ 148.13 a share now sees his investment dwindled to a paltry $26.36 a share. Jim Balsillie and Mike Lazaridis and other higher up exec's will be fine, but REAL people invest in companies also, not just Wall Street "Fat Cats". People's RIMM investments have lost them REAL money, life savings. and by the way, The Wall Street Journal has been around since 1889, let's see how long RIM will be around. Do me a favor and e-mail your joke to a current working stiff getting by RIMM investor, I'm sure he'll find it very funny. | There are far too many serious threads you can comment on about RIM's stock fate, this was a good attempt at easing the tension here. Ease up....  |
06-20-2011, 06:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by leftypepper716 I'm glad you can make fun of real people who've invested in RIMM, only to keep losing a huge amount of money. A person who bought RIMM stock in June 2008 @ 148.13 a share now sees his investment dwindled to a paltry $26.36 a share. Jim Balsillie and Mike Lazaridis and other higher up exec's will be fine, but REAL people invest in companies also, not just Wall Street "Fat Cats". People's RIMM investments have lost them REAL money, life savings. and by the way, The Wall Street Journal has been around since 1889, let's see how long RIM will be around. Do me a favor and e-mail your joke to a current working stiff getting by RIMM investor, I'm sure he'll find it very funny. | Its a good opportunity for people to get in on RIM (Im Canadian) and like stated above stock market is a risk. A lot of money to make and a lot of money to loose. The Tech sector is very risky and fluctuates often and the people who made the decision to buy when it was @148 should get better analysts. Just my honest opinion.
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Last edited by colagrosso3; 06-20-2011 at 06:06 PM.
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06-21-2011, 04:01 AM
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Hahahahahaha!!!!!!! Even shopper's drug mart, other companys and FedEx's copiers also are subject to jams! Even my fax/scanner/copier jammed! The school's copier always jammed! Paper finds it's way around or just happens to go wherever it feels. THIS DOESN'T AFFECT A COMPANY AT ALL!
...I sense a deliberate troll thread... 
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06-21-2011, 04:05 AM
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bwahahahahahahahahahhahahahhaha .. CLASSIC!
smdh @ some of the replies
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06-21-2011, 02:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rootbrian Hahahahahaha!!!!!!! Even shopper's drug mart, other companys and FedEx's copiers also are subject to jams! Even my fax/scanner/copier jammed! The school's copier always jammed! Paper finds it's way around or just happens to go wherever it feels. THIS DOESN'T AFFECT A COMPANY AT ALL!
...I sense a deliberate troll thread...
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06-21-2011, 03:04 PM
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OP, you should totally submit this to The Onion!
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