Mission Impossible ....???

[m7md1986]

Hello Folks .... first wanna thank every user , admins , researchers ... etc ....
my first topic for me ... after i completely lost everything in this life ....
my GF hate me now because i spent about 1 week searching for my weird Problem ... my mom also the same ... my friends ... etc ...
I seem to be the most unlucky on earth ...
i got a couple of problems in the same time ... solved little of these problems ... but still have others and others ... i searched and read many topics ...and i saw a similar topic but of course not same as mine ... sorry for the big intro...
my blackberry ( Curve 8900 ) suddenly stopped working ... couple of problems in the same time ....

First : doesnt start and just a black screen without any sense of working ...
and when i charge it ... a Red X on Battery appears ... but its ok for me because i solved it ... ( lick the battery a lot like a lollipop , Smack it ... eat it .... etc ) ..
second one (the important ) : Stuck in Loading ... about (75% loading bar ) .... of course i found a topic with same problem ... so , as i read in many topics that i should Wipe my blackberry using ( BBSAK / JL Cmder ) ... even if i have many contacts that i need and many messages ... but i dont have another idea to fix this loading problem ...
so , the ( BBSAK / JL Cmder ) doesnt Recognize my Blackberry ...
because when i connect it without the Battery ... its says ( no Device connected ) ... and if i put the Battery ... the blackberry starts and stuck in Loading ... also the same answer ( no device connected ) ...
... so , i cant make ( Wipe ) ... also im not able to install OS because the Blackberry unrecognizable ... i read the topic about ( how to install OS on NAKED Blackberry ) ..." AWWW i like Naked Word " ... doesnt work with me ... of course i read the topics about ( when the PC doesnt recognize the blackberry ) ... also same Damn Problem ... useless for me ... even if i have the ( Blackberry Smartphone ) already known in my Device Manager ....
also i dont believe in Maintenance Shops ... distrusted way and they will do the same as me .. searching in Internet and fix it and take money from me :|... and i want to learn and try even if that will end in ( Dead Blackberry ) ... i think you didnt understand me ...
the summary :
1- if there is a way to fix the loading and keep my ( contact , calender ..etc ) will be so Thankful and i will give you a hard kiss ( whatever you are Male or Female ) ....
2- if there is a way to Wipe the blackberry by secret codes ... or a magical way ... if Female : i will lick your neck ... if Male : give you a Hi5 ...
3- if there is a way to install OS even if i have the Stuck in Loading ...
im gonna love you for ever ... and if i found work , i will send you 10$ monthly ....

thank you all ... and Sorry for my bad English ( English not my Native Language ) ...sorry for the impolite words ... and im waiting your Replies ...
any Ideas or Help please :'( ....