The message you described in Post #5 just means your friend's PC doesn't have the right OS on it for your device. What OS are you running? The latest official release is 126.96.36.199. You can get that from the BlackBerry site and install it on your friends PC, then install BBM.
I made some progress! I downloaded the updated desktop software from Verizon (my provider) and now I'm able to view apps in the app uploader on the desktop software. I dont see Messenger, but I'll figure it out -
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